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On madness and hills.

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England has produced many of the world's great thinkers, it was the cradle of the industrial revolution and has been at the forefront of cultural movements for centuries. However, it is hard to believe any of this when one considers how completely bonkers the whole place is. Before anyone suggests that I am some sort of revolutionary, seditionist warrior I am, I would point you to the Coopers Hill Cheese rolling and Wake. Coopers Hill is a 50% slope in the outskirts of Gloucester and every Spring bank holiday it hosts a two day festival of such lunacy that it makes one doubt one's own sanity. In simple terms competitors gather at the top of the hill and wait to start. A 3-4 Kg wheel of cheese is thrown down the hill and a second later the competitors hurtle after it, down the impossible slope. Chaos then ensures as bodies tumble and fall toward the bottom. The aim is to either catch the cheese (this never happens as it rolls at speeds up to 70 mph) or reach the bottom first whe...
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On Monks and their rules.

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rules There are three rules that govern the creation of Trappist beer. Firstly the beer has to be brewed in the precincts of the named abbey or monastery, then the beer has to be brewed with notable input from the brothers; finally the beer must be sold for the betterment of the monastery and its mission. These rules mean that many of the beers that claim to be "Abbey" beers are not members of the International Trappist Association (ITA).  At the time of writing, I believe that there are 11 Trappist beers being brewed with other members of the ITA making other products such as cheese. It is a highly politicised space in the market and stepping outside the bounds of the association will get you removed from their roster. It would be easy to buy into the myth that these beers are brewed in small batches by slightly tipsy clerics in their monastic robes. Whilst the monastic clothes may well be worn, many of these are massive beer businesses that happen to be set in religious spa...
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On history, modernity and intrigue!

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The Sparten brewery can trace its origins back to the late 14th century; just for a bit of perspective Richard II was on the throne of England at the time! It gained its present name when the brewery was taken over by George Spatt in 1622 (James I and VI), from where it got its current name. The Brewery was then taken over in 1807 (George III) by the "Royal Brewer" Gabriel Sedlemyer. By this stage it was already one of the largest and most influential breweries in Bavaria. On his death the brewery was taken over by his two sons Gabriel (Jnr) and Joseph. Joe went off to but the Leistbrauerei and left his brother with Spaten. This is where the fun starts. There are dozens of different versions of this story and I'm pretty sure that none of them tell us the full story so I have just pulled out my favourite bits and tried to stitch together what could have happened. In 1833 (William IV) Joseph Sedlemyer (Jnr) and his friend from Vienna, Anton Drecher visited the UK. They were...
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On silly rules and how they make no sense.

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Stilton is one of the great cheeses of the world. There is probably not a better cheese symbol of Englishness than this crumbly, creamy, blue beauty. There are, however, a few things about this style of cheese that are so bonkers they just confirm its English eccentricity. To start with, if you lived in the village of Stilton (in Cambridgeshire) and made a lovely blue cheese you would not be allowed to name that cheese "Stilton". This is because, according to the PDO (see below) on Stilton cheese, it has to be made in Nottinghamshire, Derbyshire or Leicestershire. To sum up, a cheese maker can't make Stilton in Stilton. PDO recognition is a European idea which we have held onto in this post Brexit era. The concept is that the regionality and style and often process surrounding a food product is protected. This is why Camembert only comes from Normandy and Champagne only comes from the region of "Champagne" in North East France. Indeed, a Melton Mowbray pork pie ...
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On secrets and truth with Mayfield and Pilsner Urquell

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I have been asked why I have chosen to be the Secret Cheese and Beer Guy. "I mean what's the big secret? You've told me that you are writing about cheese and beer." or "Oh you just want to sound mysterious, like some sort of secret agent." or also "You'll never become a famous food and drink writer unless your name is out there" There is truth and honesty in secrecy. Anybody who really wanted to find out who I am could do so really easily, I am not hiding. I have no desire to sound like a secret agent; if you knew my surname you would understand. I am not looking for fame and fortune, and I especially don't want to be in a position where I may be compromised by companies giving me stuff to promote (though I am miles from this actually happening). I simply wanted this blog to be all about the cheese and beer that I encounter.  So on the cheese and beer! We have all, I am sure, been seduced by pre-sliced Emmental in the fridge, pulling a slic...
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On the rural idyll, marketing and other myths, with some truth thrown in.

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The September sun has reached its peak in the sky. The plough rests on its side. A very large, powerful horse, maybe a Suffolk Punch or a Shire, chomps at the rich grass by the hedgerow made lush by recent rains. A strong, tanned man unpacks his canvas knapsack revealing: a hunk of bread, an apple, a slice of cheese and maybe a pickled onion wrapped in grease proof paper. He also pulls out an earthenware bottle containing a pint of the local ale. This is, of course, how the "Ploughman's lunch" was born and since then it has been available in pubs all over the country. Except, it's not. Whilst this rural idyll paints a lovely picture linking us back to a time when life was hard but simple the concept of the "Ploughman's" as a pub lunch was invented by a canny marketing executive at The Milk Marketing board looking to sell more cheese. It is an invention of the 1960's not the 18th century. Being fair, there are a few references in literature to the lun...
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